Beware the Green-Eyed Monster
In the first reading today a very dramatic confrontation begins to unfold between King Saul and his protégée David. Returning victorious from the field of battle , they meet an adoring crowd of woman who have come to greet their husbands and to celebrate their triumphant King. What should have been a glorious moment for Saul becomes one of torment. As the attention of the admirers moves quickly from Saul to the young boy David, who has become an instant hero by his vanquishing of the Philistine giant Goliath, two very negative emotions begin to surface.
The first is jealousy. Jealousy is the feeling you get when you fear that something you value deeply is about to be taken away from you. In this case, rather than being able to rejoice together with David in victory, Saul sees David as a threat to his Crown. He fears that the admiration that the people feel for David is a sign of the end of his reign which the prophet Samuel had already predicted.
Jealousy is a very powerful and destructive emotion, hence the reference to a Green-Eyed Monster . In relationships, particularly between husbands and wives jealousy can cause havoc. A jealous partner can place unreasonable restraints on a relationship for fear that the other spouse may be unfaithful or be seduced away from the relationship. The result is a breakdown in trust for the one who is feeling jealous and intense frustration in the other as communication between the two becomes difficult and ineffective.
The second emotion is envy. Envy is closely related to jealousy but has its own particular destructive quality. It is the feeling you have when you covet or desire something that you see but which you cannot have. As such it is a very private, intrapersonal emotion and is at the root of many people’s unhappiness. One of the ways that envy expresses itself is in anger towards those groups or individuals who appear to possess that which you cannot have even to the point of wishing their downfall.
Saul envied David because of his favor with God. Having lost God’s good graces due to his disobedience Saul now would rather see David dead then to see him become a King. Envy can be present in many workplace settings in which members all labour hard for success but the credit for that success is lavished unequally upon one person who is seen as the leader. Rather than being able to rejoice in the success of the team, the envious person would sooner see its downfall resulting in the leader’s humiliation.
The antidote to both of these emotions is complex and may need the help of a counsellor to get to the root of the issues involved. Our Christian tradition has some very powerful images that can help us to begin to shed these feelings beginning by understanding how connected we all are in the body of Christ. When we feel disconnected we see another’s success as our failure. We think that the goodness another receives only highlights that for which we still long. In baptism we are no longer separated but are one family. In his letter to the community in Rome St. Paul writes, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” (Rom 12.15) For in fact their victory truly is your victory and their sorrow is your sorrow.
